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Been busy with crafting illusions recently. I made some minor tweaks to my main two--the cougar and the robed jedi--and mostly spent time working on that tiger illusion I'd worked on earlier this summer. I ought to work on a housecat version, too. And a wolf. But it's probably not a good idea to give the garou an idea of just how flexible these illusions can be--lest they (1) figure out they're illusions (other than Briari, who put two and two together, and the people in the know) or (2) get nervous about how I could theoretically be anyone, like that stunt that Coyote spirit pulled off earlier where it mimicked Thane. It's getting easier to craft these illusions. There's a difference between knowing how to do something and turning what you know into an art. Finesse. Finesse with advanced Forces magick is what I'm working on.
Had a couple interesting conversations at the caern recently. With Nolan, a discussion about how being granted territory is more than simply having the garou trust me. It's about traditions and respect, too. And respect with the spirits at the node/glade as well as with the garou. Maybe I need to go spend more time there in the umbra. Get to know the spirits. Especially since the who Spiral danger is passed.

Interesting conversation with Ghost, too. She'd asked if I felt the compulsion to kill despite being against it. I /do/ have the compulsion to kill from time to time, just as I suspect everyone does--and I suspect the garou have a harder time fighting down that instinctual urge to violence. I mentioned that I had killed on two occasions, once by accident (didn't realize my own strength) and once intentionally (a vampire I could not reason with and who was a threat to myself and my apprentices). Asked if it felt good... Deep down, I think I reveled in that power. It's important to be aware of that response, particular as that is something I do not wish to feed or come to enjoy more than be ashamed of.
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Nick "Nicodemus" Dalton

July 2017

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