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Sleep. It is a glorious thing. After Emma left, I immediate hit the downstairs futon and started cutting Zs. I had some seriously fucked up dreams about Eddy, the now-dead BSD kinfolk. They'd have been full-blown nightmares if I hadn't gained some substantial ability with Mind magick to control my own dreams. As is, I put up kind of a barrier wall between the things I'd seen when I'd mind-raped Eddy and, well, the rest of me. Compartmentalized. But I let some of that compartmentalized stuff out, but with some shielding. Sort of like I imagine how the CDC scientists handle and examine dangerous stuff--through a wall with thick gloves and suits on.
Ugh. Eddy had a nasty life full of abuse and abusing back. His sister was a full-blooded spiral. Alice Jones. I can even see her face. And.... ew.... all her other parts. Yay, incest? Eddy and Alice killed their parents: no longer effective breeders. The knife. The neighborhood strays. The unattended child. All for naught as the Spirals just kept beating and raping Eddy. The military, Iraq and Afghanistan, proved to be an escape and an outlet. The sharpened shovel--two or three hits and the heads come right off. Bathing in the blood. Drinking. Eating. Defiling. Why stop when they're dead? Ugh.
I finally shut it off. There's only so much I'm willing to subject myself to. That's why I had to get out of working homicide. It's a hell of a lot easier to see the corpse than it is to see the torture and the killing. Eddy was a horrible, horrible, horrible person. The Spirals are even worse. Would Eddy have turned out differently if he hadn't been raised in that environment? I sure as hell hope so. That kind of.... That behavior can't possibly be innate. I boxed Eddy's memories back up and forced myself to have more pleasant dreams.
Emma came back just after dusk and boy did she look tired. She pulled an all-nighter and an all-dayer to make sure the spirit got its money's worth by that evening. We repeated what we did the night before. Emma went to the umbra to keep the local spirits at bay while I forced the worlds to touch again. (Took three hours this time, so I think I'm looking at a typical 3-4 hours to pull this stunt off from my cabin where the barrier between the worlds isn't nearly as thick as it is in the city.) The chimera got through, the link broke, Emma reached back through (she brought a mirror this time), and she told me there was a weird blue glow in the umbra now. I peeked across. Dammit. It's me. Except.... It's a blue light--about as bright as a 60 or 100 watt bulb--with no visible source, because I'm in the realm, and the source is me.
Shit.
Well, it looks like I'll be staying out at the cabin where the local spirits are pretty minor, can't cross over, and won't cause any trouble. I don't care to go out to the city or elsewhere and potentially attract the attention of something nasty that can reach across. A good an excuse as any to hit the books and catch up with paperwork.
Awkward bit when Emma left. She was assuring me about how she had good control over herself, and it seemed like she wanted to kiss, but.... Better safe than sorry. There's a reason she doesn't sleep under the same roof as her mom and her kid when the moon is fuller.
Ugh. Eddy had a nasty life full of abuse and abusing back. His sister was a full-blooded spiral. Alice Jones. I can even see her face. And.... ew.... all her other parts. Yay, incest? Eddy and Alice killed their parents: no longer effective breeders. The knife. The neighborhood strays. The unattended child. All for naught as the Spirals just kept beating and raping Eddy. The military, Iraq and Afghanistan, proved to be an escape and an outlet. The sharpened shovel--two or three hits and the heads come right off. Bathing in the blood. Drinking. Eating. Defiling. Why stop when they're dead? Ugh.
I finally shut it off. There's only so much I'm willing to subject myself to. That's why I had to get out of working homicide. It's a hell of a lot easier to see the corpse than it is to see the torture and the killing. Eddy was a horrible, horrible, horrible person. The Spirals are even worse. Would Eddy have turned out differently if he hadn't been raised in that environment? I sure as hell hope so. That kind of.... That behavior can't possibly be innate. I boxed Eddy's memories back up and forced myself to have more pleasant dreams.
Emma came back just after dusk and boy did she look tired. She pulled an all-nighter and an all-dayer to make sure the spirit got its money's worth by that evening. We repeated what we did the night before. Emma went to the umbra to keep the local spirits at bay while I forced the worlds to touch again. (Took three hours this time, so I think I'm looking at a typical 3-4 hours to pull this stunt off from my cabin where the barrier between the worlds isn't nearly as thick as it is in the city.) The chimera got through, the link broke, Emma reached back through (she brought a mirror this time), and she told me there was a weird blue glow in the umbra now. I peeked across. Dammit. It's me. Except.... It's a blue light--about as bright as a 60 or 100 watt bulb--with no visible source, because I'm in the realm, and the source is me.
Shit.
Well, it looks like I'll be staying out at the cabin where the local spirits are pretty minor, can't cross over, and won't cause any trouble. I don't care to go out to the city or elsewhere and potentially attract the attention of something nasty that can reach across. A good an excuse as any to hit the books and catch up with paperwork.
Awkward bit when Emma left. She was assuring me about how she had good control over herself, and it seemed like she wanted to kiss, but.... Better safe than sorry. There's a reason she doesn't sleep under the same roof as her mom and her kid when the moon is fuller.
